Have I Become the Dear Abby of Tinder?

Ok, so I know it’s been almost a year since our last post…nevermind that. It means nothing. I’m back and I’m making MDHT a priority again! So much so, that I’m about to reveal a really embarrassing side of myself: I am officially the Dear Abby of Tinder.

Yes, the Dear Abby.

I’m a Libra so we’re empathetic by nature, but I surprised even myself with this one.

I typically use Tinder to troll and see if I can get a good reaction out of people. Most of the times it works…especially if I refer to them as a unicorn (just go with me) but this kid went so rogue that I was thrown off. After chatting with him for almost a day, he gave me his phone number…which is when I decided to do a quick internet stalk to see if he checked out as normal. We fortunately had a friend in common so it didn’t require a ton of work. What I didn’t expect though, was to see he was listed as ‘in a relationship’ on The Book. Yeah, Facebook official. It was like he wasn’t even trying to hide it! I told MMango and asked for advice. He advised that I stop talking to him but, as always, I do what I want and decided to continue the conversation and find the right moment to say “you’re a douche bag.”

But I was caught off guard.

He seemed genuinely upset about his current situation.

I had no choice but to turn into Dear Abby and try and offer some 100% unsolicited advice.

Here’s our convo:

tt_2 tt_3 tt_4 tt_5 tt_6 tt_7 tt_8

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Roasted Starbursts… Deliciously dangerous

Picture this: It’s a warm summer night by a lake. The sky is clear and the stars are shinning bright. The waves are slowly breaking into shore providing a cool breeze. In front of you is a crackling campfire that’s producing just enough heat to warm you toes, but keep your from getting a little too toasty.You reach to your right to find a cooler full of ice cold beer. You take a sip, it’s crisp and refreshing. Now you look to your left. Who’s there? Oh hey it’s me. You smile, I smile back. At this point if you’re a chick you’ve probably fallen in love and if you’re a guy you’re definitely starting to question yourself. “What is he making in the fire,” you ask. Oh just a little campfire snack… some roasted Starburst. I remove my roasting stick from the fire and then it appears. A gooey, delicious morsel of love rises from the flames and you can’t wait to sink your teeth in. But then a drop of fiery Starburst lava drips off and lands right on my hand. FAAAAHHHHHKKKKKKKK.

Well even after burning my hand this weekend with molten Starburst – and Lemon too, it’s like the stepchild of Starbursts – I still think that this was an incredible experience. The final product contains all the goodness of eating candy without the fear of ripping out one of your fillings by the second bite. A few seconds in the flame and you’re left with a crunchy outer shell and a warm gooey inside that surprisingly doesn’t burn your mouth. I mean look at that picture above, it’s like a heated bomb pop.

I’ll leave you with this, be careful. Have a good roasting stick, pay attention, or wear one glove like the late great MJ. Otherwise you may end up with a burn that looks like an unfinished Nike swoosh.

hand burn

Just do…

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IMPORTANT UPDATE: Walt from Lost got OFF the island

And is making REALLY bad music:

My head hurts. Really, Walt? You had so much potential. I mean, what would Vincent think?

Guaranteed that pup would be disappointed.

 

Editor’s Note: I realize I may be late to this party considering there are almost 4MM views on this vid. Sorry, this isn’t really my music scene so I only just stumbled upon it. Lesson learned.

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Anyone looking for a new background?

Could be used for desktops, cell phones, print it out and hang it in your wall.. seriously – the possibilities are endless. 

 

background

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Equinox + Zagat = Genius

Seriously, why did it take so long to create this? This. Is. Genius.

Equinox and Zagat have created the first-ever health-conscious Zagat Dining Out Guide, featuring Q editor-approved restaurants across the country. Each of these restaurants is located near one of our clubs, and is a destination that upholds the Equinox Nutrition Philosophy as well as our standard of good taste. Pick up a copy at select Shop locations or view a digital teaser guide here.

Eat your heart out, homies.

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Apartment Shot Part 2: Typeset Jewelry Holder

Gotta love:

A) Having parents that are borderline hoarders so that when you walk into the attic you’ll casually find a typeset drawer

B) Growing up in rural New England/an old colonial farmhouse where finding these kinds of things is the norm

C) Not having to pay a damn thing to decorate my apartment!

Here’s the latest addition to my new digs: a typeset drawer jewelry organizer:

typeset jewelry holder

Just don’t tell anyone that it’s currently being propped up by a roll of duct tape until I come up with a more permanent solution…

And yes, I’m aware that my coyote necklace looks like it’s doing unspeakable things to my horse necklace and I. Don’t. Care.

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Best Long Weekend Ever?

Correction: Worst long weekend ever. 

Wait, before I write anything, I think it’s safe to say that we probably lost all of our readers. For anyone who stuck around for the YEAR hiatus, I love you. And if you send me your address, I will send you a 8×10 picture of me for your wall and a wallet sized picture of Elizadeath as a child when she was super awkward. You can reach us at mdhtblog@gmail.com.

Well back to my story. So this weekend proved to be a kick in the balls, after enduring a kick in the balls. Let’s start on Saturday, when I received a speeding ticket for going 40 in a 30 (which I actually think is a 35, I’m still researching). I was pulled over by a Massachusetts’ State Cop in my hometown. I wasn’t speeding, he’s wrong. Well, as soon as I pulled over, he asked me what I was hiding. Of course, I was confused and asked what he was talking about, which he then proceeded to make me get out of the car and sit on the hood while sitting on my hands, so he could search the entire car. Let’s remind everyone, I’M IN MY HOMETOWN, and I found out later, that people saw me getting searched. Awesome. Apparently I’m a thug now.

Now, we fast forward to Monday night. While on recon at the scene of the crime, I got a call from my girlfriend that I NEEDED to get home. Why you ask? Well there was water flooding in from our ceiling because our awesome neighbors left on vacation and turned their heat off. If anyone is new to Winter, here’s a quick summary: It gets cold at night and pipes freeze. When pipes freeze, they break. When they break, and it warms up, water now flows out of the broken pipes. Pretty simple right? Well apparently not for my upstairs neighbor. Now I’m running around like it’s Africa and Toto is blessing the rain‘s on all of the clothes in my closet.

After a few hours of playing musical buckets of water, the plumber and building manager finally arrive, break down the neighbor’s door and shut the water off. But now I’m left in the carnage that was my condo. Rusty (bloody) ceiling, holes in the wall and ceilings, and it looks like a murder happened on all my clothes. See below:

Welcome to Fuck City

Welcome to Fuck City

Murder Scene upstairs

Murder Scene upstairs

Kill shirts

Kill shirts

To top it all off, while taking picture of the damage for insurance purposes, water dripped on my cellphone promoting it to no longer allow me to hear people on the phone. At the rate I was going, I was waiting to spontaneously shit my pants. That’s about how my long weekend was going. So, I really hope Elizadeath and I can get this MDHT train rolling again, because I think it helps me keep my sanity, and right about now, sanity is all I have left.

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