This was just sent to me, make sure you read the whole listing, its worth it.. Also not sure how my friend found this listing… but whatever, I’m not one to judge.
Craigslist — I’m a serious bro looking for a equally/more serious bro with fancy footwork. The idea is to tie our wrists together ala the “Beat It” video and then each JO/knife fight in a profound spiritual act of consensual hetero awesomeness. I would have done this way sooner but have little faith in humanity.
-access to an abandoned warehouse
-old enough/built kinda awesome
-maintains good eye contact
-leather jackets ( I had to give the one in the pic back – long story, I can tell you when we finish)
-basic knowledge of knife/sword/bat fight etiquette (I can teach you what I know if you are pretty serious about art like me)
-can lift 80 lbs
-bachelor’s in something or equivalent experience
-not a narc
Whereas dudes/J-ing O are both undeniably awesome, I’m a straight bro. As in not gay. I just really love MJ and being open minded about new JO scenarios. We will basically play “Beat It” over and over again while we JO and dance, occasionally parrying/thrusting. Winner finishes the most times, but points will be awarded for finishing first/accuracy. If you’re the heter-bro I’m looking for, then we can JO furiously/competitively and then just hang or whatever. I’ve got laser tag too. I’m pretty serious about this. As in completely serious. If you touch my junk with anything but your own I will BF you in the M. Nerds/gays need not apply. I’M NOT GAY.
P.S. – And I’ve gotten with hot chicks as recently as just now.
Pretty sure I have every requirement on lock. Cool moves? check. General Intensity? check. Maintain eye contact? Let’s just say I haven’t stopped staring at this screen.. so check. My one problem is I don’t think I could JO in a warehouse. I mean, I take that shit pretty emotionally, I like to put on some Sade, dim the lights, pour myself a glass of wine, lay flower pedals on the bed, and just enjoy my own company. I don’t like to rush into these things. I’m going to have to seriously contemplate before I respond to this listing.