Monthly Archives: August 2010

FREE LA BARBIE

Epoch Times – An alleged Texas-born drug lord, nicknamed “La Barbie,” was arrested in Mexico on Tuesday.

As one of the country’s most wanted men, Edgar Valdez Villarreal allegedly was involved in a bloody turf war between rival gangs and had his operants traffic cocaine into the U.S.

Mexican President Filipe Calderon announced the arrest of the alleged drug kingpin after he was arrested—a testament to his notoriety in the country, the Houston Chronicle reports. He was arrested just outside of Mexico City.

Rule #1, you NEVER fuck with a guy who has a girly nickname. They are by far the most dangerous people in the world. They will beat you, torture you and ultimately kill you without blinking an eye, just to prove they are not feminine. La Barbie was not only a drug trafficker, but a fucking hitman for Los Negros, so excuse me while I praise this man before I’m next on the hit list. FREE LA BARBIE! FREE LA BARBIE!

He doesn’t look so tough. Luke could take him.

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DWTS recruits already tanned individuals to save costs

Okay…that might not be true, but the show has announced their latest line-up and I’m thinking there will be a few extra bucks laying around with The Situation, The Hoff, and Audrina participating….

NPR.com — The mother of The Brady Bunch, a former NFL quarterback, one of the self-proclaimed “guidos” from Jersey Shore and the daughter of Sarah Palin are among the celebrities who will cha-cha-cha on the 11th season of Dancing with the Stars.

The Brady Bunch matriarch Florence Henderson, retired Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner, Jersey Shore co-star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Bristol Palin are among the 12 celebrities who will be paired with professional dance partners and train before their prime-time premiere Sept. 20. How does Palin’s mother feel about her dancing gig?

“She’s excited for me,” said Bristol. “She knows that this is going to be hard work, but she’s excited.”

Also competing for the mirrorball trophy will be: When a Man Loves a Woman singer Michael Bolton, comedian-actress Margaret Cho, former Los Angeles Lakers forward Rick Fox, Dirty Dancing actress Jennifer Grey, Baywatch actor David Hasselhoff, Disney Channel star Kyle Massey, singer-actress Brandy Norwood and The Hills co-star Audrina Patridge.

Seriously though, this has to be the most random grouping yet. Here are some initial thoughts on the cast this year:

  • Jennifer Grey should be eliminated from the comp. Bitch danced in a movie for a living. It’s unfair to the other contestants.
  • What do you think the chances are of Michael Bolton singing the song he’s dancing to? I’m thinking they’re PRETTY high.
  • Sarah Palin says she’s excited her daughter is participating because it will finally help her daughter lose her second chin.
  • Florence is not Cloris Leachman and she’s certainly no Betty White. She should also step down to risk embarrassing herself.
  • How many shirts do you think The Situation will not wear and/or rip off during his dances?
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Foursquare to ruin or enhance sex lives everywhere!

Yahoo.com Foursquare, the social network that allows members to broadcast their location and activities, has joined forces with MTV in an effort to remove the stigma attached with getting screened for sexually transmitted diseases. Members who “check in” for an STD test during the month of September will receive a special virtual “badge.” According to The Associated Press, the badge is one part of the cable network’s “GYT: Get Yourself Tested” campaign, which also encourages open communication with parents, partners and health care providers. To find your local testing center, click here, or text your zip code to GYTNOW (498669) on your cell phone.

I don’t use Foursquare. I think it’s an easy way for people to know you’re not home and then rob you. But that’s beside the point. This new tactic by Foursquare really takes the idea of TMI to a whole new level. Who in their right mind would want to broadcast that they just got tested for STDs/STIs/whatever they’re calling nether region uh-ohs these days? Are results included with the tweet as well? It just seems to me like this badge is not a badge of honor and just a badge of staight up slutiness. And I can promise you that if any of the people I’m following start tweeting this, you will be unfollowed. I’m not joking. I already hate to hear that people are at Starbucks (like every other New Yorker); I don’t need to know that you’re at the clinic with 18 other people wondering if your chatch is tainted after a rendezvous with the creeper in the corner last night.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Wake up with Bieber and crew

Found this gem this AM and I’m legit speechless. It’s a Kanye-produced remix of Bieber’s “Runaway Love” featuring rap verses from Raekwon and Kanye. It’s like MMango and Elizadeath’s worlds collide…and I dig it.

P.S. So proud to be a Canadian right now.

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Watch out Jacob!

LOS ANGELES – The owner of an RV dealership sued by Taylor Lautner over a customized vehicle challenged the ” Twilight ” star Monday to use his muscles instead of his lawyers to resolve the case.

Brent McMahon, who owns McMahon’s RV in Irvine, Calif., offered to compete in a push-up contest to settle the breach of contract lawsuit that Lautner filed Aug. 23 claiming the dealership failed to deliver a $300,000 RV on time for use as a dressing room on the set of the actor’s latest film.

McMahon and his attorney denied wrongdoing and said they will vigorously defend the case in court if Lautner, 18, doesn’t accept the challenge.

Don’t do it Taylor, don’t you even think of taking this challenge because it’s clearly a loss. No one in their right mind would challenge Mr. Abs-of-Steel himself, to a push up contest unless they are some secret fucking push up machine. He gave a new definition to the phrase washboard abs… my clothes clean themselves when a random picture (not random) sometimes shows up on my computer every once in a while (everyday). So don’t do it, take it from me, the guy who has the 3rd best abs in the world (behind the situation)… and my abs are just hidden behind a little gut, give em time, they’ll come out to play

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Haters gonna hate, Lovers gonna love

First hate message to MDHT!!!

So this was in reference to Elizadeath’s Necrophiliac post where she said a couple of sickos stole this body to run a train. Now I can’t hate on “J” here, because I’ve known Elizadeath my entire life and he’s kind of right. No, she’s not disrespectful – because you gotta remember,  we’re bloggers and at the end of the day we don’t give a shit about other people. But the real truth is that she’s an idiot. No hate cous, all love here, but sometimes you are an idiot… for example, how she decided that it was a good idea to only eat tuna fish and nacho cheese doritos…. for 6 years straight. Let’s just say her breath smelled worse than fish market.

So “J”, while you maybe right in some of your hate, no one can make fun of my cousin but me (and her brothers) so suck a big one.

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B-Boy (B-Girl?) busting a move while mom’s at work

I love when YouTube recommends a video for me:

Thanks, YouTube. I’m so glad I watch an androgynous middle schooler break it down.

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Snooki’s been snatched up

NY Post — This “Jersey Shore” cast member can finally stop Snookin’ for love.

Former Iraq war veteran Jeff Miranda has proposed to his girlfriend Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, but there is just one problem – she doesn’t know it yet.

Miranda’s proposal to the 4-foot-9 guidette will be on the cover of the Sept. 10 issue of Steppin’ Out magazine, according to Radaronline.com.

The magazine’s cover will feature a shirtless Miranda dressed in typical army garb on one knee with the headline “Jeff Miranda has a question for Snooki, Will you marry me?”

Sorry guys, Snooki’s been snatched! Good for her. I think she’ll make the most beautiful Oompa Loompa bride anyone’s ever seen.

My favorite part about this whole thing though is the fact that the issue isn’t coming out until 9/10 and he thinks Snooki will be surprised by the proposal. I’m pretty sure Snooki’s got at least 17 different Google alerts for herself; plus she IS the Princess of Poughkeepsie so I’m willing to bet she reads The Post. Sorry, Jeff…but I think the element of surprise will be lost.

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These foodies have balls

Guardian.Co.UK — In a remote Serbian mountain village, chefs are cooking up delicacies to make your mouth water or your stomach churn. At the seventh annual World Testicle Cooking Championship, visitors watch and sometimes taste as teams of chefs cook up bull, boar, camel, ostrich and even kangaroo testicles.

“This festival is all about fun, food and bravery,” said Ljubomir Erovic, the Serbian chef who organises the event in Ozrem and has published a testicle cookery book. The food politely called “white kidneys” in Serbian is believed to be rich in testosterone. In the Balkans, it is considered to help men’s libido.

Testicles cooking in a pot“The bulls’ testicles are the best, goulash-style,” said last year’s winner, Zoltan Levai, stirring a metal pot heated by a wood fire and filled with vegetables and large testicles that he said were provided from a state-run slaughterhouse.

The festival includes dishes such as testicle pizza and testicles in bechamel sauce flavoured with a variety of herbs found in the region. Visitors eat the dishes with plenty of wine or beer, and the stalls also sell roasted pig or lamb “as a side dish”.

“I came here last year, and decided to come back,” said Anna Wexler, an Israeli citizen originally from New York who is now a member of the festival’s jury. “It was delicious. There was testicle moussaka, goulash, stallion, boar, bull and many other things.”

Do you think this was inspired by Fear Factor or the Real World/Road Rules Challenge (pre The Gauntlet)? Has to be. There is no way someone just decided to have a nahts festival out of the blue. I wonder if this guy will be there

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21-year-old acts like middle school student. People are surprised?

Fox Sports — When Chad Jordan took the field to play in the Tampa Bay Youth Football League, he may have looked like a man among boys.

And there was a reason for that.

Jordan was actually Julious Javone Threatts, a 21-year-old who posed as a middle schooler, joined the youth league and attempted to register at a Tampa middle school.

“He really acted like a kid,” Ray McCloud, coach of the Town ‘N’ Country Raiders told the St. Petersburg Times. “My son is 13, and my son was hanging out with him, and (Threatts) acted more immature than (my son).”

Threatts, who is 5-foot-11 and 160 pounds (10 pounds under the league’s maximum allowed limit), played in the first game of the season.

I think this is my favorite quote in the history of quotes:

“He really acted like a kid. My son is 13, and my son was hanging out with him, and (Threatts) acted more immature than (my son).”- Ray McCloud, coach of the Town ‘N’ Country Raiders

You’re shocked? Really? Hey Ray — have you ever spent time with a 21-year old? Maybe you can’t remember that far back cause you’ve blocked out the past 20 years of shenanigans, but guy don’t start acting like they’re 21 until their 40. It’s just a fact of life. Take my 23- and 26-year old brothers for example. They pretend they’re ninjas when working in our family bakery; they work hard, but they spend hours playing video games (even if it’s 85 and sunny outside); they make videos of themselves dancing, kind of like little Timmy; and they still wake up at the ass-crack of dawn on Christmas morning.

But it’s not the age thing that’s throwing me off about this whole story though…it’s the fact that he might get arrested and won’t be able to play anymore. If I were Ray McCloud, I’d ask myself: WWBBD? What would Bill Belichick do?

I mean, let’s look at the facts: you’ve got a 21-year-old who’s 5’11”, weighs 160 pounds, and probably has previous experience with the game. I think the decision is an easy one, the question is whether or not you want a championship ring or not.

MMang0: This is the shit I’ve always wanted to do. Start my life over as a 13 year old football star. Could you imagine the damage I would do today as linebacker in a pop-warner game?? I’m 6’1, 190 pounds of pure muscle (and fat), I would have a field day with these kids. My self-esteem would go through the roof. This guy is just doing what every washed up football enthusiast would strive to do. Matter of fact, I’m going to shave my beard, and start forging a birth certificate right now. Watch out Cambridge youth, I’m coming for you!

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