Monthly Archives: November 2010

‘Stache of the Day: The Finale

Well today is the last day of Movember. Instead of giving this honor to a celebrity, I figured it would be best to give it to an inanimate object. With that being said, the last ‘stache of the day belongs to Mr. Potato head. It’s a stud spud stache.

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Sarah Palin’s VP for 2012

I will be shocked, S.H.O.C.K.E.D. if this guy doesn’t team up with Palin for the 2012 election:

“I’m Basil Marceaux dot com. I…want to stop traffic stops.”

“I’m gonna take the power of this locomotive and I’m gonna run through state finance…to find corruption…and try to narrow down how corporate people who have craploads of money are coming into our state and think they can just buy their way to your heart and…have you vote for them.”

“…say a prayer to my Lord and say the Pledge of Allegiance as many times as you can…”

Just pure political gold. I wish I lived in TN just so I could vote for this guy. This man exemplifies what it means to be an American.

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Brazilian drug lord’s got Bieber fever

Well it looks like this little Canadian has won over EVERYONE:

MSN.com — Brazilian police discovered a giant portrait of Justin Bieber in the home of a Rio de Janeiro drug lord during a raid at the weekend.

The hand-painted mural of the teenage pop star was found on a wall in the luxurious mansion, which was abandoned by drug kingpin Alexander Mendes da Silva ahead of the raid.

An army of 2,600 law enforcement officers, paratroopers and marines descended on the residents of Alemao, a virtually lawless area with a population of 400,000 on Sunday morning.

During the raids police seized assault rifles, missiles and 40 tonnes of narcotics — including 200kg of cocaine.

Real talk: how can an uber masculine drug lord get away with having a giant mural of the Biebs in his house? I mean, I guess no one ever talks back to a drug lord, but c’mon; someone should have said something. Even a simple, “you know how I know you’re gay?” should have done the trick. I guess I’m just confused as to how a man can maintain power and authority when he’s blatantly waving his teenage girl side in everyone’s face. Time have changed, my friends. Being a drug kingpin ain’t what it used to be…

P.S. Can you imagine 40 tons of narcotics? Cause I can’t.

P.P.S. How many times do you think Bieber had to change his underwear after discovering this story? I say 7. Easily.

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Oh heeyyyy hater

Sorry for my absence yesterday. Most of us don’t have the luxury of taking the day off in the middle of the busiest season/aren’t completely and totally tapped after traveling and working over the weekend. That’s right, MMango. I’m talking to you.

 

MMango: The day off? How about two. See yaaa

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‘Stache of the Day: The Professor

I have no clue where Elizadeath was today, but today is my day off and I’m somehow still the only one posting (update: made this post at 2pm, right as E posted hers… don’t feel like changing the subject). Let me repeat. Day off. We all have jobs so save the ‘feel bad for me’ spiel. So for today’s mustache, I feel like Elizadeath needs a lesson in team work. So, who is the best person for that? Well that would be none other than Mr. Feeny. School her Feeny, school her.

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Is this the oldest flash mob ever?

Don’t me wrong…I’m all about flash mobs, but what do you think the median age is of these flash mobbers? 67? 68? There are a few stragglers in there that might lower it, but this is definitely the oldest impromptu singing group I’ve ever seen on the interwebs.

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What a stupid, stupid dog

CHICAGO — The Park Forest pooch that bit off his own tongue after getting it caught in a paper shredder earlier this year is “doing great,” the dog’s owner said.

The SouthtownStar caught up with Ashley Taylor, who owns the boxer-Rhodesian ridgeback mix named Caine.

Caine was being watched by Taylor’s mother over the New Year’s weekend when he got his tongue snagged in the shredder. The dog ultimately bit himself free and was taken to an emergency clinic, where a feeding tube was installed.

Dogs are the dumbest fucking animals in the world. What other animal eats their own shit and then smiles afterward. Dogs are like the kid who wore a helmet in your homeroom class, always picking boogers and chewing them like bubble gum. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs, but fucking c’mon! Your tongue in a paper shredder!? Someone get this dog a helmet… or a least a muzzle.

Here’s the thing… I was just googling images to go with this story, and this is not the only dog that is graduating top of its class. There’s probably a good 100+ images of shredded dog tongue. Fuckin’ A!

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R-I-P Frank Drebin

Leslie Nielson, most notable for his roles as Dr. Rumack in Airplane and Detective Frank Drebin in the Naked Gun series, passed away last night at the age of 84. I know what you’re thinking.. Surely I can’t be serious. Well, I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.

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Stache of the Day: Miami Vice

I’m Miami-bound for the weekend to staff a party for work, so I thought it was only appropriate to leave you with a little new school Miami Vice (unfortunately DJ was not into the lip sweater. Damn shame).

Oh, and you can enjoy this throwback:

See ya on Sunday!

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