Monthly Archives: January 2011

Geico always stepping it up!

Well, I’m out in Colorado for the past week and this week, but that won’t stop me from sharing awesome shit with you. As I sit in my hotel room watching mindless television, I keep seeing this Geico commercial. Maybe its old, maybe its new, regardless, it makes me laugh all the time. Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one!?

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Science proves, once again, that men like chicks….and lots of em — According to a study by two psychologists at the University of Texas at Austin, 22 percent of guys would keep dating a woman who cheated on them with a dude, but 50 percent would continue a relationship with a woman who had an affair with another woman, because, obviously, holy crap let’s have a threesome!!! Or, as the study’s authors put it, more dispassionately, “Men may … view a partner’s homosexual affair as an opportunity to mate with more than one woman simultaneously, satisfying men’s greater desire for more partners.” [University of Texas]

Really? We needed a scientific study to prove this? The psychologists who run all these studies  about men being OK with their girlfriends scissoring on the side or fat chicks not being able to get laid are true bullshitters and I’m just jealous I didn’t become a psychologist. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I promote booze all day everyday…but these guys legit get to sit around, think of something completely obvious, and then get paid to tell people all about their obvious “discovery”. Damn my Communication/Poli Sci degree….

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Bad Romance: The Official Online Dating Challenge

So it’s no surprise that I’m an online dater. From 3-names to IBS, I’ve created some really fantastic memories that will forever solidify my ultimate desire to become a crazy cat lady. That said, I’m going to step up my online dating game and take the ultimate dating challenge. After seeing this (look down now) as a recommended match from OK Cupid, I’ve decided to move onto greener pastures.

FlutterTongue? Really? All I can think of is the Pussy Eating 101 video...

Yep, I’m taking it to the next level and joining JDate AND Christian Mingle. Not sure how successful I’ll be on JDate seeing as though I’m Catholic (Shiksa anyone?) but I can’t wait to get saucy on Christian Mingle, the site that promises to “find God’s match for you.”

Let the love games begin!

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Phoneix Sun’s stuntman posterizes himself

This past week, during halftime at a Phoenix Sun’s game, one of the Sun’s stuntmen gets a little too much air….

Does this count as an ‘and 1’? This has got to be worth 3 points, fuck it, 4. He goes head first into the net pull himself through, all within the 3 seconds until the next guy comes in with a tomahawk dunk. Give the man 4 points! Reports say he walked away uninjured and was fine, but I think that’s bullshit, this dude has been hanging out in the hot tub the past 4 days nursing the pain and embarrassment.

Elizadeath: I think this was the first time I had to Google something to understand what MMango was talking about. Thank you, Urban Dictionary. Clarity is bliss.

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I have seen into the future…

…and this is me and MMango in 50 years:

Just an amazing interpretive dance with a phenomenal incorporation of props (did you expect to see that lighter at 1:24? blew. my. mind). I wonder if we can hire them for our next wedding/family gathering?

Oh, and can someone tell the douche bags at 2:04 to get the fuck outta the way?

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Who creep’d this weekend?

Thinking back on my weekend festivities I’m 97% positive I pulled out my t-rex arms and creep’d hardcore on some unsuspecting gentlemen who were just trying to tell me about their intriguing lives in the world of finance. Nothing says “take me home tonight” like bent knees, t-rex arms, and a little twistin’. I’m such a man magnet.

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Sweet baby Jesus does my life feel complete again. I wasn’t sure how I was going to last another month without staring at his half-naked body and delicious chocolate brown eyes (that’s plural not singular, you sicko).

Welcome back, Isaiah. Welcome back.

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American Idol brings its random family member A-game

This scene (if that’s what you would call it?) literally had me in tears. I legit had to stop eating my dinner because I probably would have choked to death. Hands down the best family member reaction Idol has ever produced.

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