All hail the king!

Yes, this is the king.

WARREN, Mich. — Warren police said a man has been charged after he told a store clerk he didn’t have to pay for cigarettes because he was a king. Joseph Lawrence Borowiak is charged with strong-arm robbery and resisting arrest after being accused of threatening a 7-Eleven store clerk on Saturday.

Police said Borowiak went into the store on Schoenherr and 12 Mile roads at about 6:30 a.m. and asked the clerk for a pack of cigarettes. Borowiak told the clerk he wasn’t going to pay for the cigarettes because he was a king and didn’t have to, police said.

Where was the royal army when this debauchery was ensuing? Where were the nobility to profess his innocence? The commoners? The court jester? Damn, this court really dropped the ball on the whole escorting the king around town. I wonder if that means he’s not really a king. No, can’t be. His name is Joesph Lawrence… aka JOEY LAWRENCE (woah). If that named doesn’t scream royalty right there, then I must be crazy.

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