Monthly Archives: March 2011

The New “Awkward Family Photos”

I have a confession to make…

my first boyfriend was gay.

Yep. My K through 3rd grade boyfriend, Corey, was a homosexual. I didn’t know it at the time, but I learned at the lovely age of 17 after finding him on Myspace that he, in fact, preferred dick. I guess I should have known considering every day on the bus he’d give me something new — a hello kitty sticker; a stuffed animal; some yen (he was Chinese); or an issue of Playgirl. (Ok, that last part was a lie…but it could have happened).

I struggled for years after finding out his sexual preference. Ok. That’s also a lie. I was weirded out for about 33 and a half seconds to see my former elementary school best friend/boyfriend in drag but then I realized it was the most exciting thing to happen to me. Anyways, you can imagine my excitement when I discovered this gem of a site:

Yep. My High School Boyfriend Was Gay. They’re still in their infancy but they’ve already got some gems…

the susan boyle (aka the SuBo) is always a clear sign of homosexuality

you can't argue the sexual preference of someone with a face like that

This site is definitely going places…

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Justin Bieber and Rascal Flatts Present: Asian Baby

You may or may not be aware, but lip reading is a skill that I currently do not possess but am constantly trying to learn. I feel like it would be useful in so many situations — like when a creeper is trying to flirt with you on the subway you merely think he’s asking for change (even though he’s not dressed like a homeless person); or when you’re bored in a meeting and you find yourself rudely interrupting a room full of quiet, well-behaved professionals by whispering “HUH?” too loudly to your coworker. Anyways. The point is, the skill of these lip readers is unfathomable and I am envious of their talent and ability to interpret the lips of The Biebs and Rascal Flatts. I aspire to be that talented some day…

Asian baby and cheese fries. Makes sense to me!

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Stage 6 clinger!!!

I’m legitimately scared for this kid. I’ve encountered a few stage 6 clingers in my life and this one might take the cake. If you ever get this message you have to run. Run fast and run far away, because she’ll find you.

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Drake & Old Money

Look at Drake tossin those toonies like a loonietic (I had to). Not only was I laughing at a lot of these segments, i.e. Canary yellow and the titty grab dance… I was really hoping that one of these elders would’ve dropped a Drake verse right back at him (you’re lying if you didn’t think the black lady was going to finish that line).

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Kid Cudi’s biggest fan

Holy fuck, this kid loves Cudi more than any stoner I know! Look at her face when the beat drops. I haven’t seen anyone that excited about a song starting since Michael Jackson performed Billie Jean at the Motown awards (In no way am I comparing the two.. that heresy). But seriously, at the 0:22 second mark, her parents might want to check that diaper because I’m 99% sure she shit herself.

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The Big Lebowski 2, coming to a theater near you

The Coen brothers are back with a sequel to the cult hit The Big Lewbowski. Now I know what you’re thinking, how are they going to sequel that movie? Well here is your answer people. Recast every character with Tara Reid. Genius, pure fucking genius. The trailer has just been released, so make sure you head to Funny or Die to check it out. It’s good for a single laugh.

Again with these videos that won’t embed. I’d love to have it right here for you to see, but the gods don’t want that to happen. So you’ll have to click through. My deepest apologizes!

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Twin babies chatting it up

No joke, my brothers and I have incredibly similar home videos. This shit cracks me up:

My guess is that they’re arguing over the same bitch from their nursery but Gavon over at Buzzfeed think they’re talking about the Bronx Zoo Cobra:

(I can’t embed his video but you should seriously check it out)

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What kind of blog are we running here!?

I’m starting to question the intentions of our readers. When “Whale Dick” is not only the top searched term that brings people to this blog, but also listed twice in the top 15, you have a problem. Also rounding out the top ten are “gays” and “fat puppies” (honorable mention to “fat kids”). Is this what people expect to see when they come here? Are they disappointed when the find out that MDHT isn’t all about gay fat puppies with whale dicks? I know I would be if that’s what I searched..

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Jackie Chan is NOT dead, I repeat, NOT dead

The Courier-Mail – RUMOURS of Jackie Chan’s death have set the Twitterverse into overdrive, but according to his Facebook page the action star is alive and kicking.

The bogus news took hold after it was tweeted that the action star had suffered a heart attack, the Courier-Mail reported.

‘RIP Jackie Chan’  topped Twitter’s trending topics, sparking confusion and leading to a post on Chan’s Facebook page debunking the story.

“Jackie is alive and well. He did not suffer a heart attack and die, as was reported on many social networking sites and in online news reports.

Holy Shit! I can walk away from the ledge and step off the bridge. A world without Jackie Chan is not a world I want to live in. I couldn’t think of another person to do kung-fu comedies. Jet Li is not built for it. Plus, no one else has that type of rapport with Chris Tucker. I thing this hoax brings up a bigger issue and that is filling the hole that Jackie Chan will leave once his legacy ends.

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