MOMMM! THE PRESIDENT JUST STOLE THAT PEN!!

 

That might’ve been the sliest little chain of events to hoist that pen. I know because I’ve done it numerous times. Let’s break it down:

1.) Klaus realizes “holy shit this pen is fuckin sexy”. Clearly he needs to steal it. After a convincing head nod, the verdict has been made “Yes I’m definitely stealing it”. But why? This pen is most likely a giveaway for all those big wigs. But that’s not funny, stealing the pen is funny.

2.) Now on to phase 2. Klaus has mentally committed that this pen will be his by the end of the conference, but how does he get it out of there? Well this my friends is easy. First, he slides the pen deep into his hand so its not noticeable, and then the most important part, put your hands by your side and relax. Relax because you’re halfway there, halfway to owning by far the sexiest pen in the Czech Republic.

3.) Now we’re at the home stretch. The pen is out of sight. Quickly switch it to the other hand – because duh no one would ever guess the pen is in your other hand, you fucking genius. Adjust your coat, smile smugly, and bask in the glory that you just pulled off the biggest heist since the Gardner Heist.

4.) Oh, one more thing. Close that lid baby.

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