Monthly Archives: June 2011

Definition of drunk

Yep, that sounds about right.

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This made me LOL today

My friend is turning 25 in a couple weeks. We’re going karaoking to celebrate. This video was on the evite:

 

These are, hands down, the best misquoted lyrics I’ve ever heard (and I have a friend who thought “Caribbean Queen” was “Caribou Queen”).

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Amstel Light Wants to Rage with the Bruins

So we all know how rowdy shit got in Vancouver when the Bruins humiliated the Canucks in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. Beyond the riots and make outs, the Bruins got rowdy in their own way…by getting their motherfucking drink on, as evidenced by the receipt below:

Yes, that’s a $156,679.74 tab. That’s my college education. That’s a studio apt in Boston. That’s apparently, chump change.

Anyways. If you look closely at the receipt, among all the Red Bull/Vodkas and Jager Bombs, there’s one lone Amstel Light. One health-conscious player who’s really watching his weight. And now, Amstel Light wants to help the annonymous drinker celebrate the 4th of July with a non-American beer:

 

Honestly, I don’t know if I’d want to come forward and confess that I was was the one who ordered the Amstel Light. Would I confess to the Jager Bombs? Probably. The $2,000 Bottle of Ace Mag? Absofuckinglutely. But the Amstel Light? Meehhh. Something about that just screams “I’m a pansy that wants my pants to fit tomorrow” as opposed to “Let’s get fucked up cause we just fucked up the Canucks!”

Wait. Who am I kidding? I’m not one to turn away free booze! I also don’t make even close to $150K…so I’d probably just acknowledge that I was the lone Amstel Lighter, get dressed up in my best Americana apparel and celebrate the 4th with a bottle (or 12) or Amstel! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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Holy Awesomeness Batman…Did you just say a Party Down movie??

A show of hands for everyone that’s watched Party Down!…. anyone? really? Nobody has seen it! That is a travesty!! But seriously, go catch up on this show. It’s pretty much the Arrested Development of catering. And speaking of Arrested Development.. I really hope that these potential “movie” plans don’t take the same path as AD.

Watch the trailer for the show and I’m sure you’ll be hooked.

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Someone get me this phone cellphone attachment

 

So I love talking on real telephones. Mainly because cellphones can be so uncomfortable. Also, I would NEVER own a bluetooth, so really this attachment seems like the only logical answer. Lenny fucking Kravitz, always ahead of the curve. If you don’t think this is cool, wait a year and watch this shit blow up. Lenny has always been ahead of the curve. I mean shit, Lenny Kravitz had a Facebook account before Zuckerberg. Lenny Kravitz invented krumping.. at a bar mitzvah none the less. Heidi Klum only married Seal because she thought he was Lenny Kravitz.

Lenny fucking Kravitz, you sandbaggin’ son of a bitch!

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Elizadeath and MMango MIA Today

So MMango has a client at his office today and I have an awesome case of food poisoning…so we won’t be around much today.

 

Yeah, you definitely won’t hear from me today.

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Unlimited Taco Extravaganza

So yesterday my friends and I had a Sunday Funday family dinner compliments of a recent Thrillist deal. For $24 we got unlimited tacos, frozen margs, and those super tiny baby Coronos at Vamos, a Mexican restraurant right around the corner from  my apt. As I was gorging my face with lamb, pork, steak and fried fish tacos (not all on one torilla, mind you) I started thinking about what would be the ultimate taco? It’s tough because I’m a pretty picky eater and have a shit ton of food allergies…but below are tacos I think would make for a serious party in my mouth (TWSS):

Braised Short Rib Taco

I love BBQ…and I love Mexican…so why not marry the two together for the ultimate taco extravaganza? I could also get down with a smoked brisket taco. Anything smokey, barbeque-y and Mexican and I’m in.

The Nacho Taco

Have you ever put chips on your sandwich? Totally changes it and makes it go from ordinary to extraordinary, right? Well this would be the same shit…only in taco form. That total mix of soft and crunchy with all the fixings you want and expect from a plate of nachos — tortilla chips (or Nacho Cheesier Doritos), cheese, jalapenos, guacamole, sour cream, perhaps some ground beef if you’re feeling real dangerous.

The Cheeseburger Taco

Yes, yes, and yes. I said it. I want a taco with some Grade A beef, pickles, shaved cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, a smidge of red onion and some spicy mustard. I mean, sometimes a hamburger bun takes away from the overall burger — it’s overwhelming and can overshadow the patty. But a good corn tortilla? Something tells me that would only enhance it. Just saying…

I know MMango’s going to come back with a “why didn’t you suggest a tuna fish taco with mayo and pickles ?” because as a kid I was obsessed with tuna fish. Whatever. I loved that shit and my parents didn’t have to worry about teen pregancy cause boys were terrified of me and my tuna breath.

But I throw it back to you: what would your ultimate taco consist of? Would be be an American classic Mexified? Perhaps something totally unexpected? Let me have it. I want to hear your food fantasies.

 

MMango: Why didn’t you suggest a tuna fish taco with mayo and pickles ? No, but seriously, Buffalo Chicken Taco. When I was a kid I was obsessed with buffalo chicken… and as a teenager… and as an adult… and still to this day – yes I had a buffalo chicken wrap for dinner on Saturday and Sunday. Think about it: Buffalo Chicken, lettuce, tomato, and crumbled blue cheese. Party in your mouth!

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Rihanna Eats It in Canada

Ohhhh girlllll! I’ve fallen like that before. It’s never pretty. Just straight to the knees with nothing in front of you? That hurts. The first rule to falling though is pretending like you didn’t actually trip over your own feet. Her awkward off-stage stare and questioning shoulder shrug immediately gave it away. If she was a true pro, should would have rolled out of it like Gaga and made it look intentional. Or if you’re like me, get your friend to pick you back and go right into the Carlton.

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