Phone emergency: I’m stuck in 2008

So, as per usual, I had a rowdie weekend here in the city. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I may or may not have flamenco danced with a Jackson Hole-ian in the middle of a bar; I may or may not have worn an American flag bandana Rambo style at one point this weekend; and I may or may not have lost my phone.

Yes, my life source. Gone. Dead. Forever. I desperately called the bar that night (and by night, I mean 4AM) through Gmail to see if someone had turned it in. They may or may not have been really annoyed with my hysterics.

But not to fear! I, like my father, am a slight hoarder and fortunately have held onto the first Blackberry I ever owned:

Takes “crackberry” to a whole new meaning, right? For the record, it did not look like then when I got it. That happened when I was living in Boston. I decided to take a lot of tequila to the face one night, ended up heeling my phone (accidentally stepping on it while wearing high heels) and had to convince the bartender NOT to kick me out…that my 4.5″ heels were the reason I couldn’t stand up straight.

I digress.

The real dilemma now is how the fuck am I supposed to carry around a phone that looks like it has a mustache in the upper right corner and still be taken seriously at work? I’m screwed. I’m definitely doing to get canned for this one. But my upgrade isn’t for another 3 months (thank you for ending your early upgrade policy, Verizon) and I’m too cheap to pay for a replacement so I’m asking you, kind followers of MDHT, to lend me your technology. If you have a quasi professional looking smart phone just chillin’ in your apt, please send an email to and I will provide shipping instructions from there. If you happen to have an HTC Trophy just hanging out, that would be really awesome. I’ve been eyeing one and, since I have no desire to get an iPhone/even be associated with the brand (I already struggle with being called a hipster), I think it would be the perfect summer accessory for me.


Your prayers for my former BB…and technological donations are greatly appreciated.

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