Amstel Light Wants to Rage with the Bruins

So we all know how rowdy shit got in Vancouver when the Bruins humiliated the Canucks in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. Beyond the riots and make outs, the Bruins got rowdy in their own way…by getting their motherfucking drink on, as evidenced by the receipt below:

Yes, that’s a $156,679.74 tab. That’s my college education. That’s a studio apt in Boston. That’s apparently, chump change.

Anyways. If you look closely at the receipt, among all the Red Bull/Vodkas and Jager Bombs, there’s one lone Amstel Light. One health-conscious player who’s really watching his weight. And now, Amstel Light wants to help the annonymous drinker celebrate the 4th of July with a non-American beer:

 

Honestly, I don’t know if I’d want to come forward and confess that I was was the one who ordered the Amstel Light. Would I confess to the Jager Bombs? Probably. The $2,000 Bottle of Ace Mag? Absofuckinglutely. But the Amstel Light? Meehhh. Something about that just screams “I’m a pansy that wants my pants to fit tomorrow” as opposed to “Let’s get fucked up cause we just fucked up the Canucks!”

Wait. Who am I kidding? I’m not one to turn away free booze! I also don’t make even close to $150K…so I’d probably just acknowledge that I was the lone Amstel Lighter, get dressed up in my best Americana apparel and celebrate the 4th with a bottle (or 12) or Amstel! U-S-A! U-S-A!

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