Monthly Archives: December 2011

Have a great New Years!

JGL is the shit and Zooey is gorgeous. I only wish I could be spending my New Years with them. But I have better plans, get really crazy with friends and family. I’m going to leave it at that, because I know my mom sometimes reads this blog (Mommmmm get outta here!) and I want her to keep that glowing image she has of me, so there will be none of my plans of debauchery… until Elizadeath recaps it all.

Goodbye 2011!

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Children’s books just got a lot more racist

 

Woah! What’s next, 5 Irish guys walked into a bar and they were all drunk? or 5 Italian guys walked into a butcher shop and they all smelled like meatballs? or what about 5 Mexicans walked into a Home Depot parking lot and were all arrested for being illegals?

 

…unfortunately, all of those were probably true stories.

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Makin’ Whoopi!

New favorite blog for the blog roll – Makin’ Whoopi. Sometimes the simplest things are the best, and this is a prime example. What is this blog about? Well its just photoshopping Whoopi Goldberg’s face onto random movie posters:

This is pure GOLD(berg)! To view more, go to whoopiwhoopi.tumblr.com

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What is the appropriate number of times to hit the snooze button?

This is something I’ve been contemplating for the past couple of weeks. Now typically when I wake up in the morning I hit the snooze button, on average, 10-15 times. See I’d rather lay in bed with my eyes closed and constantly hit the snooze, than get 30 minutes more sleep and have to jump out of bed when my alarm goes off.

 

So do you snooze? How many times do you hit the button? Am I crazy? I don’t think so. Most people do this right?

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Drake sings karaoke with a fan in LA

I’ll give my comments in the form of a Drake flow:

Drizzy Drake slept with her after the song, Coat room.

The video has 200 likes and 1 dislike, Rihanna.

Celebs hittin’ up local restaurant buffets, Recession.

Dee was sweatin’ Drake the entire song, Change ya panties.

Karaoke with random strangers, Bill Murray.

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No work, all play

So you may or may not be aware that I’m on holiday from work hence why there are no posts from me. Sorry, but I’m just too busy enjoying a nice break from the big city and getting back to my roots in the sticks.

So while you all are sitting at your cubes, miserable as fuck (sorry, MMango! Love you!), I’m enjoying the great outdoors and hiking with my brothers:

And sticking hiking poles up their asses:

And time traveling back to 1998 when my bros were huge fans of WWF?

Anyways, you won’t hear much from me because I’ll be too busy completely disconnecting from society…but you’re in good hands with MMango (I think?). BYEEEEEE!

Editor’s Note: I swear I’m not that fat…it’s just a wicked stuffed down jacket. Swear on my life.

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Extreme shoplifting

My mind is blown right now. This give the phrase “hot dog in a hallway” a whole new meaning. So much that can we start using “case of Guiness in a vagina”?

 

On a more serious note.. WHERE DID SHE PUT THAT CASE!?

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Am I the only one who actually paid for my Christmas gifts?

AP – More than spirits are being lifted this holiday season.

During the four weeks leading up to Christmas this year, an estimated $1.8 billion in merchandise will be shoplifted from U.S. retailers, according to The Global Retail Theft Barometer, a survey of retailers worldwide. That’s up about 6 percent from $1.7 billion during the same period last year.

 

Am I the only sucker who paid for all of his Christmas gifts this year? With $1.8 billion stolen, I had to be. My mom probably stole that crock pot she gave me….. shitttt did I just admit to getting a crock pot for Christmas? Did I say crock pot? I meant to say motorcycle.. typo, I swear.

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