Monthly Archives: April 2012

Wait… what?

 

This can’t be real life. There is no possible way that Tim Tams have traces of peanuts in it. Are you kidding me?? Peanut allergies are nothing to joke about.

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Isn’t it Ironic: Woman collapses while eating Double Bypass burger at Heart Attack Grill

Yahoo – For the second time in two months a customer has collapsed at the infamous Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas mid-meal, and been carted off to hospital.

The unlucky diner is a female Vegas resident in her 40s, who was eating a “double bypass burger,” smoking cigarettes and drinking margaritas when she collapsed on Saturday night, the owner of the Grill told ABC News.

 

Call me crazy, but you’re pretty much asking to collapse if you’re smoking cigarettes, drinking margaritas, and eating a DOUBLE BYPASS burger. You don’t see me walking into the “Get Punched in the Face Bar” and then getting pissed off when I get punched in the face. Now that being said, I don’t blame her for doing all of the above, because look at that damn picture. I would die (no pun intended) to have a burger like that. It’s just oozing greasy cheesy goodness! And don’t get me wrong, it wouldn’t hurt to have it delivered by this slut nurse waitress.

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Anyone thinking about getting a Fedora?

Don’t… just don’t. Unless of course your name is Indiana Jones, Tom Landry, Frank Sinatra, Ne-Yo, or you hustled liquor during the Prohibition era, then by all means sir. If you’re having ANY doubts, just follow this very simple Fedora flowchart.

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Poop and Scoop for Wi-Fi

AdAge – Mexican internet portal Terra is encouraging dog owners to poop and scoop by offering them free Wi-Fi in return. The company is piloting the idea at 10 parks in Mexico City in a campaign by DDB, Mexico.

When people throw away their bags of poop in a special box in the park, the weight is calculated and Terra gives everyone free minutes of Wi-Fi in the park. The greater the weight, the more minutes are added — and everyone can enjoy a poo-free park.

 

Great idea, it really is. Nobody likes walking through a park with landmines scattered about. One minute you’re playing catch, and the next minute you’re using a tree branch to scrape wet poo from the bottom of your sneaker for 15 minutes before realizing it isn’t working. So you slide your foot back and forth on the grass, which only makes grass stick to the poop, until you get to the sidewalk and stop up and down and take off your shoe and slam it against the concrete…. Whatever, I just hope it’s not a shitty connection (zing!).

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Shit My Grandma Says on Facebook

Truthfully, I feel this way most of the time too:

 

And in case you were wondering how I’d age:

that's me and my mom, in case you were wondering

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Don’t f**k with Rihanna

 

Yikes, Rihanna is in full beastmode… and all of this while tweeting from a blackberry. Seriously, not a single fuck was given by her at all.

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Look at this Meerkat showing this stump who’s boss.

 

Neither Elizadeath or I could figure out what to say about this picture, so we decided to have a caption speed round. Here’s what we came up with.. Oh let us know which one you like the best, or beat us and add your own!

MMango: “O’Doyle Rules”
Elizadeath:  oh, you didn’t want a pair of tickets to the gun show?”
MMango: “No need to call a plumber, these pipes don’t need fixing”
Elizadeath: “i’m going to pump. You. Up.” (obvi said in the voice of Arnold)
MMango:  “I lift things up… I put them down”
Elizadeath: “this pussy’s mine tonight!”
MMango: “ADDDRIANNNNN” (rocky)
Elizadeath: “G.T. and fuck the L, cause I’m a nudist”
MMango: “Ohh, it’s the deep burn. Oh, it’s so deep. Oh, I can barely lift my right arm ’cause I did so many. I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.”
Elizadeath: “I’M THE KING OF THE WOOOOOORRRLLLLDDD”

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Happy National Grilled Cheese Day!!

As most of you know, MDHT loves Grilled Cheese. Maybe because we’re always hungover, and grilled cheese sandwiches are an amazing hangover food. Anyhew, in honor of today, I’m giving you my top 3 Grilled Cheese recipes that I’ve found over the past few days. Cue the watering mouths.

The Bacon Guacamole Grilled Cheese:

Fuck my face. Someone make this and deliver to my house.
Recipe from Closet Cooking.

Buffalo Chicken Grilled Cheese:

Fuck my other face. Bring this one too.
Recipe also from Closet Cooking.

Yummy Cheesy Goodness:

Fuck my other other face.  Let’s make that delivery a triplet!
Recipe from Life’s Ambrosia.

Alright, you guys have your orders. Make me sandwiches… I’ll bring the beer.

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Coachella

In case we’re not friends on Facebook (which we’re most likely not), I should let you know that I’m going to Coachella this weekend. As I type this, I’m actually waiting for my flight to LAX to leave now. Anyways, Coachella is like the mecca of spring hippie fashion and I couldn’t be more excited! The looks that I put together for the festival are below. Feel free to judge/laugh/enjoy and ill talk to you next week!

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