Monthly Archives: May 2012

No Church in the Wild

Kanye West and Jay-Z just released the visual accompaniment to their song “N0 Church in the Wild” off their latest album, Watch the Throne. I already loved this song, but this riot video, took it up a few notches in my book. I’m sitting at work and now all of a sudden I want to start a revolution!! Viva La Resistance!

Also, I just learned that this video was filmed in Prague, which is where I will be in less than a month. Baller.

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Shots fired! Shots fired!

If you’re a rap fan, then you had to LOVE this long weekend as much as I did. For those who weren’t paying attention, Pusha T made a diss track against Lil Wayne and the YMCMB crew, called Exodus 23:1. I love rap beef, (except when legends get shot and killed, see: Tupac/Biggie) it brings raw raps and heat to the game. Take a listen, and look, at Pusha’s new track.

Now, it wouldn’t be a real beef if Wayne didn’t respond. Here’s his rebuttal. I’m really hoping this beef stays strong and isn’t as soft as Common vs Drake.

In other news, Justin Bieber just released a new track.

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LeiVanKash: Jewelry TO DIE For

So my latest obsession is British jewelry designer LeiVanKash. I’m PAINFULLY obsessed. Everything about every piece just screams badassery. I peruse the site endlessly like I have buttloads of discretionary income and you should too. Plus it’s priced in pounds so you can forget how much it actually costs…

Some of my favorite pieces:

Get your fix at www.LeiVanKash.com.

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Summer Jam Off

That sounds oddly sexual, doesn’t it? Didn’t mean for it to. Sorry. Anyways, I have a dilemma and I need some help. I need to know: what song is going to be my 2012 summer jam? The song I just can’t stop listening to and will one day reminisce with my grandchildren about (that last part is a lie…my family will not procreate for the good of humanity).

Is it going to be the I’m-reluctant-to-admit-that-it’s-as-addicting-as-crack hit single “Call Me Maybe”?


Or the newly released I-can’t-believe-Andy-Milonakis-is-back track “Neato” with Three Loco?


I JUST DON’T KNOW!

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How to Grocery Shop and Find Love

WARNING: You’ll probably laugh out loud…and loudly. Do not continue reading if you are in an important meeting or conference and don’t want to be called out for not paying attention.

You farted in Whole Foods – m4w – 30 (Boston)

From craigslist Boston.

You were the tall brunette with the near-perfect body who farted in the bread section last night. I was the tall guy next to you who asked, “Was that you?” You quickly replied, “No! Wasn’t me” and almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew, you continued to deny the flatulence, but it was evident. 

I tried to get rid of the stench by waving two loaves of ciabatta bread. You stormed off in an angry huff. You are beautiful, and even if you’re a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I’d love to meet up sometime.

No joke, I’m going to start ripping farts in Whole Foods and checking Missed Connections starting IMMEDIATELY. I always thought I was being polite by not tooting a melody on my butt trumpet, but maybe I’m missing out on true love!
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“Corny” Fashion

I seriously need both of these for summer.

Gentlemen: do you think my manpanion would be offended if I purchased ‘his’ and ‘hers’ shirts? Cause I’m seriously 30 seconds away from ordering these.

Oh, and if food-inspired shirts aren’t your jam, I’m sure you’ll find something you can’t live without at HaveToHaveItCo.com. They legit have everything you have to have.

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Power Ranger dance off

The Green Ranger is stereotypical white guy.. not sure how he’s gonna hide his boner in spandex when it starts Mighty Morphin, but I would’ve loved to see how this dilemma unfolded.

I’m still stuck on what to think about the Red and White Rangers. Are they gay together? Are they all bad dancers so they stand in a circle and talk? Clearly the Blue Ranger is just waiting for that Pink Ranger slut to call his color so he can show her a real 1,2 step.

Oh, and obviously the Black Ranger is posted up in the back of the club. Go Go Power Rangers.

 

Thanks to Aaron for the pic

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Is Angel Food Cake Dinner From Heaven?

Yesterday was an awful day. MMango can attest to it. I was a big time Debbie. Just moody and cranky, both in person and online. I’m pretty sure if MMango could have stuck his arm through the screen, he would have slapped me across the face…but with the back of his hand, not the front. And to make my bad mood even worse, I had a 6-month cleaning with my dentist.

I. Was. Miz.

Miz = short for miserable. Love it or leave it. I don’t care.

Anyways, as I was walking back from the dentist, proud that I passed with flying colors and won’t have endure another “deep cleaning” because I neglected to go to a dentist for two years (don’t judge, I didn’t have insurance), I decided that I would treat myself to something delightful for dinner. What a horribly wrong decision that was.

I passed pizza place after pizza place (why is there nothing but pizza on 3rd ave in the mid 30’s?) until I finally realized I was going to have to make my own delightful dinner. Too lazy to trek to Trader Joe’s and too broke to go to the organic grocery store on my block, I settled on Morton Williams. Awesome. And as I aimlessly wandered around the store, trying to decide what would be my big treat, I found myself even more confused than when I arrived. The shelf stock boys were starting to question whether or not I was a terrorist; the old women with their carts were pissed that I lapped them again and again; I was the Tasmanian Devil and I was no longer welcome.

So as I felt my time running out (before they kicked me out for creepiness) I settled on kirby cucumbers (healthy!), a red bell pepper (double healthy!), and a box of Angel Food Cake (whaaaaaaat?). I don’t know what happened. Where the fuck did that come from? Is dessert a food group? WHY DID I JUST PURCHASE A BOX OF ANGEL FOOD CAKE. I’m not lying to you when I say I’ve NEVER had angel food cake in my life. Welp, there was no turning back now. Food was purchased and my stomach was turning. I needed sustenance in the form of powder sugar and cream of tartar.

As to be expected, the baking of it was a nightmare. I don’t know if you’ve ever made angel food cake before, but shit is bananas. Like expands and grows like CRAZY (that’s what she said). I made a total mess of the kitchen but I didn’t care. If my roomie can brew beer in our kitchen, I can make messy angel food cake god dammit! And made it I did. I couldn’t even wait for the loaf to cool before cutting into it. It was still warm when I sliced it up so the pieces looked like a toddler hacked at it. I topped that shit off with a warm berry sauce (fruits! woo hoo!) and polished off the entire loaf.

Yes, the entire loaf.

So what does this rant have to do with anything? Nothing, of course. Just know this: angel food cake is not a dessert, it’s dinner from heaven. And if any of you are ever feeling as miserable as I was yesterday, I hope you’ll remember this story and immediately set-up a 1:1 with Betty Crocker. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

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Fashionista on MBTA bus


Yo my man, is that a Vera Bradley? Damn, did you camp outside all night in front of Macy’s to cop that fresh gear!?
Seriously though, what the fuck.

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Uncle Drew!!

Pepsi Max and NBA rookie of the year, Kyrie Irving, teamed up to put out my new favorite scam video. Basically, they dress up Irving as an old man and send him into a nighttime pick up game.. the events that followed are just mind blowing. I’m pretty sure my brain would’ve straight up melted if I were playing in this game.

Hey, white girl sitting court side… I see you 😉

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