Top 5 shoes, I’d never wear

Many of you may know that I have a slight obsession with sneakers. I’m not afraid to admit that my closet is stocked to the brim with all different brands and colors. I’m not one to discriminate against any brand really – Nike, Adidas, Reebok, New Balance, Creative Recreation, ALife, the list goes on and on. However, there are a few footwear choices that I can’t get down with. Here is my top 5 of shoes, I would never want in my closet, or near my feet.

#5 – ANYTHING Dirty

I don’t care if it’s a limited edition signed Jordan 3, if it is old, dirty, and falling apart, it’s going in the trash. No questions asked. I feel like your footwear tells a lot about your character. If you don’t keep your shoes clean, then chances are you’re not keeping other things clean.

#4 – Shape-Ups

If you believe these sneakers are going to shape your ass, then I’ve got a backyard full of pet rocks I’d love to sell you. Sketcher sneakers are bad to begin with,b t these gems just scream gullible.

#3 – Birkenstocks (with socks)

With or without socks, these jesus pieces are straight up ugly pieces. I never understood the concept of socks with sandals. I was under the impression that the purpose of sandals was to let your feet breathe. So why suffocate them with socks?

#2 – Crocs

Functional? Yes, I can see how they could be functional. Appealing? I’d rather walk on glass then put a pair of these on my feet.

#1 – These ugly fucking individual toe sneakers

These things are so fucking hideous that I haven’t even bothered to learn their name. I can’t wait for this fad to be over. They are the creepiest looking sneaker out there. It’s like people wear them for attention, because I know they’ve caught mine… just not for the good reasons. Best part of all, I know for a fact that Elizadeath owns a pair of these.


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