Tag Archives: dance moves

Why wasn’t Jason Biggs cast in Magic Mike? (Also, why am I writing about Magic Mike)

[Pause] I really do hope this was an actual audition tape. The casting director must be Helen Keller if they couldn’t recognize the promise in that audition. Those moves at the end could impregnate a virgin and make a grown man cry. I’m pretty sure I did cry. Show of hands, how many of you are wet? (My hand is raised).

Well, this is also the perfect opportunity to post the gchat conversation I had with a friend today:

 Melanie:  you could be a stripper
me Magic Mango?
 Melanie:  i went to see the movie
i think u might have what it takes
 me:  minus the 6pack abs
what do i need to do
Melanie:  hah
just dance
It’s settled , if you ladies would rather me jiggle my ass all around the stage than stare at a ripped six pack, then Magic Mango is coming to dimly lit bar near you.
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Justin Bieber Teaches Barbara Walters How to Dougie.. wait what?

Listen Bieber, before you start going around teaching old women how to Dougie, how about you learn it the dance yourself. The head wipe move is not the only fucking move in the Dougie. That’s like doing the Electric Slide and only sliding to the left. You know what they call that? Being a fucking asshole who thinks he knows the dance. Why don’t you stick to the Funky Chicken or whatever they’re doing up in Canada these days. But look at Barbara Walters drop that Dougie, 150 years old and the bitch has still got it. What a fox, she’s still in my league.



And this my friends is the day when the Dougie officially died.

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Weekend Video: James Brown

My whole family is comin down from NH this weekend to tear up the city with me. I’ll tell you, this is no easy task. I will have to channel the hardest working man in show business to complete it. So enjoy your weekend, big ups to Luke, and take one from the godfather of soul…Mr. James Brown.


You want a banana with that split!?

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