Tag Archives: Poop

Tree that looks like the Virgin Mary, actually looks far from a virgin


Yahoo! – Hundreds of people have been drawn to a tree in New Jersey that some say contains a striking likeness to the Virgin Mary. The tree, located in West New York, NJ, has proved so popular that the local police had to build a barrier to protect it. The phenomenon began when a woman claims the tree spoke to her, saying, “I’m the Virgin.”


Am I the only one who thinks this tree actually looks like a busted vagina? Possibly one that has seen one too many “Hail Mary passes” from the football team? I hate these religious nuts that think everything in a weird shape is somehow holy. If that’s the case, I’m sure I have a poop that I can show you that looks like baby Jesus.

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Don’t cheat on your boyfriend.. especially if he’s your tattoo artist

Or you might just end up with a steaming pile of poo on your back.


VeryWeirdNews – Tattoo artist, Ryan L. Fitzjerald was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent.  She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.

Apparently Ryan found out that she had cheated with a long-time friend of his and this was his way of getting even.

I think the most overlooked part of this story is that the dirty cheating whore originally wanted a complete back tattoo of a scene from Narnia. Yes, Narnia, and for that she needed to be punished. Maybe a still-life of a poop was a little much, but I think he had the right idea here. I think we can all learn a few lessons from this story.. don’t cheat on your boyfriend, and don’t idolize children stories.

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Is this phantom school pooper Buster Bluth?

Gawker.com — Ocala, Florida police believe they’ve caught the notorious Serial School Pooper—a man who’s surreptitiously pooped on the entrance of a portable middle classroom five times since early September. He also allegedly left behind notes, pamphlets, and, in one instance, a thong.

Surveillance video showed the suspect doing his thing while—at least in one instance—carrying a roll of toilet paper and a bottled water. Hydration, like a high-fiber diet, is essential to good health. The Gainesville Sun reports that when approached by police, the suspect—identified as Kenneth Martin Sarsony—admitted to police that he was indeed the the Serial School Pooper, attributing his acts to “bad spirits.” He’s now been charged with five counts of trespassing.

Maybe it’s just because I’m so excited about the Arrested Development movie, but I feel like this (now) not-so-phantom school pooper looks like Buster. Is it just me?

If you watch the video on Gawker, I’m literally shocked I don’t see a hook holding that roll of TP…

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Is there a phantom pooper in my apartment?

So last night I got home from work, took a #1 and then flushed the toilet. What happened next is one of the worst feelings anyone can experience. The toilet water clearly wasn’t being flushed and it started rising up. Let me add to the story that I live alone. Naturally my first thought was “Fuck! I must’ve done work on this thing earlier.” So like any defeated person, I grabbed the most unappealing tool in the world, the plunger, and started going Super Mario. This is where the story gets a little odd. Now I was expecting to find the norm: a wad of TP, maybe some q-tips, something that would make sense. No. What I found was a piece of fucking cardboard. Obviously I took a picture. Exhibit A below.

Now I have a few questions here. First, did I literally eat the box of Cheez-Its because I ran out one night when I was hammered and subsequently shit it out a few days later in perfect form? Or did the previous owner leave me one last treat by flushing a some cardboard down the john before he left? Or do I have Phantom Pooper who comes in when I’m at work, stuffs random stuff in my toilet takes a D and leaves? Farfetched, but possible. Really I see only one way to figure out this situation. Get really high, watch episodes of Scooby Doo and let my inner Shaggy and Thelma solves this mystery.

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Poop Cutters

Nothing like some poop in the morning to get your day started right…

VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Wireless Flash – FlashNews) – Farts don’t smell like roses, but poop can look like pretty stars.

“Turd Twisters” is a circular mold that, when placed up into the anus, will make poop come out in a fun shape including a heart, star, Christmas tree, teddy bear, and spaghetti noodle.

Creator Dave Shore says the idea for the turd tool came to him after eating churros in Mexico.

Sticking it in can be a pain in the butt, so Shore recommends “swiveling or rocking” gently to ease it up the keister.

He also advises users to invest in helpful tools like rubber gloves, a tarp, a screwdriver, a hacksaw, and piano wire to aid in the turd twisting process.

Meanwhile, Shore says eating starchy foods that are high in fiber will produce a perfectly-shaped poop.

However, users should steer clear from prunes or super spicy foods because the resulting feces from those dishes won’t form properly.

I mean my nickname wasn’t “Poopa” in college for nothing — I LOVE talking shit. Real talk though, this is the best press release to ever cross the wire (and I work in PR…so I send a lot of shit over the wire). And while I love the concept of pretty-shaped deuces, I have to say that I’m concerned about whether or not this is a one person job. I feel like this would take so much bending and maneuvering to get a fun poop shape that I’d twist my body into NOT dumping. You know what I mean? I’m just not sure I could multitask like that.

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Elizadeath and MMango MIA Today

So MMango has a client at his office today and I have an awesome case of food poisoning…so we won’t be around much today.


Yeah, you definitely won’t hear from me today.

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Please use button if…

Yikes. Bad enough you have to use a public bathroom, but to be called out about your overly productive poops by a flusher that looks like a frown face… Talk about your all time low.

And yes, that flusher definitely looks like a frowning face.

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Calling All Non-Lactards!


Stop by any Cheesecake Factory today and you can pick up a slice for half price. And if you’re a lactard like myself, then ignore this message or prepare to shit your brains out.

Oh yeah…YOU’RE WELCOME. Enjoy bitches.

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Drunk Mowing

MADRID, Iowa — A middle-of-the-night ride on a lawn mower landed one Iowa man in jail.

The Boone County Sheriff’s Office says deputies stopped the man on Highway 17 near Madrid around 1 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports of someone driving a mower all over the road with no headlights. Madrid is about 25 miles northwest of Des Moines.

The man was arrested for drunken driving. The Sheriff’s Office says his blood-alcohol level was .190 — well above Iowa’s limit of .08.

What’s so wrong here. Man drinks a pint of whiskey, decides he wants to do the town a favor, hops on his mower and cuts grass. He deserves a medal or at least another pint. I wonder if this guy has any relation to Steve the infamous lawn mower motorist? I’m kinda hoping this is exactly how it went down.

He knows his rights!

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